


Warm

by darkbluebox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pining, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:05:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5442701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkbluebox/pseuds/darkbluebox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every student at Nekoma High knew Yaku Morisuke was transgender.</p><p>Every student except one. </p><p> </p><p>In which Lev is an idiot, Yaku tries to be patient and Kuroo has a little too much fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlackSoulStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackSoulStar/gifts), [TheAnimeZankyou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAnimeZankyou/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

It all started with Yaku’s baby sister. Or, to be specific, it started with her habit of throwing her breakfast at every single object within a ten-metre radius. That morning one of those objects just happened to be Yaku’s freshly ironed shirt. He grumbled and groaned, even more so when he remembered that he would have to iron _another_ now, unless he wanted to spend the whole day either smelling of baby food or looking like he’d slept in his clothes before rolling down a hill. He went for the ironing option, which meant being late to practice. Late by _his_ standards, anyway.

 

Yaku liked to be there for practice as early as possible, even if it meant getting up when the sky was still dark. He wasn’t a morning person at all – he struggled with any sentences beyond the monosyllabic until at least ten – but he preferred to get changed before the others arrived. Thanks to the racket his sister made every morning, he was usually awake at the crack of dawn anyway. Today would just be an exception to his record of punctuality.

 

Nevertheless, his pace was quicker than usual as he headed through the school gate, shoving a slice of toast into his mouth and spraying crumbs all over his clean shirt. The sky was pearl-grey and Yaku could see his breath as it spiralled up into the air and vanished amongst the clouds. If he hadn’t been walking he might have closed his eyes for a moment to savour the cool morning air. Assuming nobody was around to see him, of course.

 

“Yaku-san!”

 

Yaku turned, exasperated sigh already forming on his lips. “Lev.”

 

“You’re pretty late today, Yaku-san!” Lev bounced forwards until he drew up alongside. “I guess it must be hard to walk fast, considering how your legs are so short – ow! What was that for?” Lev rubbed the back of his arm where Yaku had hit him.

 

“You know what it was for,” Yaku scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets in case he was tempted to commit further assault, which, considering it was Lev, was likely, “and I’m not late. I’m just later than I normally am.”

 

Lev decided with an uncharacteristic degree of thought and consideration not to retort, instead launching into an enthusiastic recounting of his weekend. The walk to the changing room passed with surprising speed as Lev chatted away, and Yaku found himself listening with interest. It was easy to forget that, as irritating as he was, Lev was surprisingly good company when he wasn’t insulting Yaku’s height or just being generally stupid. Yaku suppressed a smile as they entered the changing room, watching Lev re-enact tripping over a beehive with wild gestures and expressions that would have done a mine artist proud.

 

“That’s why you should always watch where you’re walking, idiot.” Yaku dropped his bag on the floor, nodding to the other team members in the room.

 

“I _do_ watch where I’m goin-aaaaak!” Lev’s foot caught on Yaku’s bag and he tumbled forwards into him. 

 

“Case and point, now GET OFF!” Yaku grunted, pushing Lev back onto his feet.

 

“Sorry, Yaku-san!” Lev beamed. He dumped his bag on the floor with a heavy thud that made Yaku suspect that it would have been too much for him to carry. Not that Lev had to know that. Genetics were a cruel, cruel lottery in which Lev had hit the jackpot. It wasn’t enough for him to be tall, no, he had to have the strength of a lion to boot – Yaku had seen him lugging weighty sports equipment from one end of the gymnasium to the other without breaking a sweat. Lev really was lucky in his body – height, strength – and, Yaku supposed, looks too. Yaku had never thought about Lev’s looks in any detail before, but, yes, he had to admit Lev was attractive. In a goofy, annoying way.

 

Another thought Lev did _not_ need to know about.

 

While Lev was distracted talking to Inuoka, Yaku took the opportunity to start pulling his kit from his bag. Kuroo joined him, glancing over his shoulder before speaking.

 

“Alright?”

 

Yaku rolled his eyes. Kuroo liked to think he was sly. He wasn’t. But Yaku couldn’t criticise Kuroo for looking out for him – it was his job as captain to keep an eye on them, after all. “I’m fine. Just ran a little late today.”

 

“You can wait until the rest of us have cleared out before you change if you want. Nobody will mind.”

 

“Kuroo, it’s fine. I’ve changed in front of you guys before, it’s not a big deal.”

 

“You’re sure?” Kuroo’s expression didn’t change, but Yaku recognised the veiled concern. He rolled his eyes again, letting the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

 

“You worry too much.”

 

Kuroo put a hand to his chest, pretending to be insulted. “Worry? Me? Never.”

 

Yaku snorted, reaching for his shirt. The changing room wasn’t _that_ busy anyway, and the occupants were too drowsy to be making much trouble. Lev being the obvious exception.      

  

“On another subject,” Kuroo began in a voice even lower than before, “Lev seems chirpy today.”

 

“When isn’t he?” Yaku muttered, digging around in his bag. His kneepads had to be in there _somewhere_.

 

“Nah, I mean, like, extra chirpy.”

 

Yaku shrugged without looking up. “So?”

 

“I guess he enjoyed walking in with you today.”

 

Yaku glanced up at Kuroo, frowning. “What’s your point?”

 

Kuroo smirked, winking at Yaku before turning away to finish changing. Yaku felt a stab of irritation, but couldn’t pinpoint the cause, which only provoked the sensation further. When he looked over his shoulder and observed for himself the extra bounce in Lev’s step, the feeling became a weight pushing down on his chest. Yaku chewed at his lip, allowing his gaze to follow Lev as he tried and failed to tie his shoe while hopping on one foot. The feeling worsened as Lev wobbled, almost falling for the second time that morning, before righting himself with a chuckle. His eyes fell on Yaku, and the laugh fell away into confusion.

 

Yaku realised with a jolt of horror that Lev had caught him staring. He snapped his eyes away, cursing himself under his breath and praying that Kuroo hadn’t spotted the exchange.

 

The prickling sensation running down the back of his neck told him that Lev had not dropped his gaze. He didn’t turn around to check. Right. He had all his clothes out. Now to actually… change.

 

He hadn’t been delaying as such. Okay, maybe he had. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed or ashamed. He just felt more comfortable changing in private. When he changed around the rest of the team his every action and movement became self-conscious, and he hated himself for it. He knew he was being stupid. It was no secret to Nekoma High that Yaku was trans. If it came up in conversation, which happened on occasion, Yaku could talk about it with no great discomfort. There was just something about exposing so much of a body he wasn’t always happy with to others that made his skin crawl.

 

He ripped off his shirt like he would a plaster, replacing it with his practice tee and Nekoma jersey. Phew. That hadn’t been so bad.

 

Relieved to have finished changing, Yaku turned around to join in with the growing chatter which signified that the team was waking up at last. But Yaku was too busy shaking his head at Yamamoto’s usual antics to pick out one voice missing from the mix.

 

Lev’s piercing green eyes were wide, his expression unreadable. Yaku raised an eyebrow, considered throwing something at his head to snap him out of it. The look in Lev’s eyes stopped him. Lev was usually an open book when it came to his thoughts. Receiving such a closed expression from him was… strange. Once again the twisting, inexplicable feeling of confusion and discomfort crept up Yaku’s spine. He flinched.

 

Right. That was more than enough weirdness for one day. Yaku turned away and put the incident behind him. Or at least, he tried to.

 

Morning practice passed, as it always did, in a blur of yawning and rubbing sleep from eyes. The crisp air soon livened up the team despite the early hour, and by the end everyone had built up a healthy sweat.

 

Yet something still felt wrong.

 

Yaku couldn’t tell if it was the late start, Kuroo’s comments, Lev’s expression – whatever it was, it wouldn’t leave Yaku alone, constantly tugging his gaze in Lev’s direction. The worst thing was, Yaku always watched Lev closely during practice, but now he was _aware_ of it. Which meant he started questioning it. It was normal for him to check on Lev from time to time, wasn’t it? After all, Yaku was responsible for teaching him receives – God knew they spent enough time on them – so he had to be ready to pull Lev up on sloppy technique and catch bad habits as soon as they developed. It wasn’t as though he spent entire sessions watching him from behind a bush with a pair of binoculars. But still he had adjusted his routine so that it involved a quick glance in Lev’s direction every few seconds and had done so without noticing.

 

It was a concern.

 

The worst part was that Yaku was sure Lev was doing the same to him, even if he never caught him in the act.

 

But that wasn’t the problem – well, it _was_ a problem, but it wasn’t a new one, just one new to Yaku’s notice. No, the problem was that something was _still_ wrong with Lev.

 

He missed every receive, fumbled easy spikes, and served the ball straight through the open door on the other side of the gym twice. Lev’s technique was dodgy at the best of times, but today it could only be described as abysmal.

 

Yaku scrunched up his nose as he watched Lev dashing after the runaway ball, resolving to have a talk with him if the behaviour continued. Considering his sudden hyper-awareness of Lev, and of the amount of time he spent _watching_ Lev, the prospect did not delight him. But it was for the good of the team, and he couldn’t let his... _confusion_ impede looking after his underclassmen.

 

When the demeanour continued into after-school practice, Yaku resolved to talk to Lev as soon as he could get him on his own. However, the choice was taken out of Yaku’s hands before he had the chance to act. 

 

Yaku’s technique for getting the changing room to himself after practice was simple; he practised by himself for an extra ten minutes before going up, giving the rest of his teammates time to clear out. But that afternoon when he dragged his aching body through the changing room door at last, he was irritated to find several teammates still inside.

 

Kuroo and Kenma looked up as he entered. Lev, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, didn’t.

 

“What’s going on?” Yaku asked, trying to keep his tone casual.

 

“That’s what we were figuring out.” Kuroo folded his arms.

 

Yaku’s concern jumped in his stomach. “What?”

 

“Lev says he’s been having strange feelings all day,” Kenma began, “feelings about y-” Lev cut him off with a strangled shriek.

 

“No! No, I didn’t say that, I just,” Lev stammered, avoiding eye contact, “I’m just getting a bug or something. That’s all!”

 

Kenma’s brow creased, but he didn’t comment.

 

Yaku sighed. “At least that’s all it is. It’s probably why your playing was off.”

 

“You noticed that, did you?” Kuroo asked, smirking.

 

“It was hard not to.” Yaku snapped back. A shot of guilt ran through him when he saw Lev’s shoulders slump. He hadn’t been aiming his frustration at Lev, but that was how Lev had taken it. “No, Lev, I mean,” he backtracked, “it’s not your fault if you’re ill.”

 

Lev nodded, biting his lip, but still wouldn’t make eye contact. It was the quietest Yaku had ever seen him.

 

Yaku frowned, all the parental instincts that came from being a big brother kicking in at once.           

 

“Come here,” Yaku commanded, grabbing the back of Lev’s head with one hand and placing the other on his forehead. Lev wriggled and squawked, but his protests went ignored. “I don’t think you have a temperature.” Yaku released him for a moment, before taking his face between his hands, scrutinising every detail. He noted with growing concern Lev’s flushed skin, and at this distance he could hear Lev’s breathing, which was shallow. He stared into Lev’s eyes, seeing his own reflection in deep, dilated pupils. “Does it hurt when you look at bright lights?”

 

Lev shook his head.

 

“Why do you feel sick, exactly? What hurts?”

 

Lev pushed Yaku’s hands away, pouting. Yaku folded his arms. “Well?”

 

“S-Something funny. In my stomach.”

 

Yaku raised an eyebrow. “Something funny?”

 

“Yeah, butterflies or something.”

 

There was a snort from Kuroo, accompanied by a mutter. “He’s got it bad.”

 

“It sounds like a nasty bug,” Yaku agreed.

 

“Yeah. Sure. A bug.” A yelp followed Kuroo’s words.

 

Yaku turned to see Kuroo rubbing his side with a wince.

 

“Kenma, your elbows are too bony.”

 

Kenma gave Kuroo a flat look as Lev’s eyes skirted between the two.

 

Yaku sighed, adding _Kuroo and Kenma acting weird_ to his lengthening list of concerns. He caught sight of the clock, and cursed. If he didn’t get a move on, he would be walking home in the dark.

 

“If you’re still ill next week, see a doctor,” Yaku advised before turning away to hunt for his bag. The room was eerily quiet, but when he looked in the reflection of the window he could see a silent yet animated conversation unfolding behind him. Kuroo jabbed his finger at Lev, then at Yaku, before making a talking motion with his hand. Lev held his arms out in an I-don’t-know gesture, looking at Kenma, who shrugged in reply.

 

Yaku spun around, and the trio fixed their gaze different directions while Lev tried to pass off his gestures as stretching.

 

Yaku turned his back on them with a scowl and swapped trousers before pulling his shirt, still damp with sweat, up over his head. There was a sound behind him, so quiet Yaku wondered if he had imagined it. A soft intake of breath.

 

He turned around again, fresh shirt bunched in one hand. Lev had drawn up his knees against his chest, eyes looking to the ceiling as if praying for help. “I think I’m going to die,” he said in a monotone. Kuroo was shaking with laughter.

 

“Lev, you’ve gone a really strange colour. Are you sure it’s just your stomach?” Yaku started walking forwards, but stopped when a groan burst from Lev’s mouth.

 

Kuroo was bent over double, his laughter dissolving into a coughing fit. Kenma whacked him on the back twice, showing no sign of sympathy when Kuroo straightened up again at last, panting.

 

“Perhaps you should finish getting changed before you catch a bug too,” Kenma deadpanned, and for a moment Yaku’s skin prickled as he remembered he had yet to replace his shirt.

 

“T-That sounds like a really smart thing to do, Y-Yaku-san. B-Before you catch a bug,” Lev garbled, his eyes closed and his head still raised to the ceiling.

 

“Hmmph,” Yaku grunted, pulling a fresh top over his head. Lev opened one eye, followed by the other, an odd sense of relief flashing across his features. He exchanged another look with Kuroo and Kenma, at which point the little piece of Yaku’s patience still holding out snapped.

 

“So,” Yaku began, “do any of you fancy explaining what the hell you’re not telling me?”

 

Another silent exchange passed between the three, this one holding far more panic on Lev’s side than the last.

 

“Well, see you tomorrow, Lev! Good luck with those stomach butterflies!” Kuroo’s voice was far too bright, and Yaku really didn’t like the twitch of amusement in the corner of Kenma’s mouth.

 

 “Hey!” Yaku barked, but he was too late; Kuroo and Kenma vanished through the door before he could stop them. He was left in the changing room, alone except for Lev, who was still sitting curled up on the floor.

 

“Ugh,” Yaku sighed, nudging Lev’s side with his foot. “Come on. I’ll walk you home. Just in case you drop dead along the way.”

 

“Thank you, Yaku-san,” Lev replied as he climbed to his feet, but his words still lacked their usual bounce. He retrieved his bag from the floor and yelped when Yaku dealt him another kick. “What was that for?!”

 

“You’re still being weird. Cut it out.”

 

“I’m sorry, Yaku-san.” Lev slung his ten-tonne bag over his shoulder as if it were weightless. He smiled, wide and false. “I’ll be back to normal soon!”

 

“Hmm.” Yaku didn’t even try to hide the scepticism in his voice.

 

They left the building together, and Yaku blinked in surprise when he felt a snowflake brush against his skin, followed by another, and another. He cursed, pulling the hood of his coat up before thrusting his hands into his pockets. Lev giggled beside him, holding his hands out to catch the flakes as they fell, still smiling despite the audible sound of his teeth chattering.

 

“Look how pretty it is, Yaku-san!” Lev spread out his arms and turned slowly, embracing the gentle tumbling flakes. His hair blended seamlessly into the grey clouds above, and the tips of his ears, now bright pink, stood out in stark contrast.

 

“You’ll make yourself feel even worse in this cold! Put on a hat!” Yaku took him by the elbow and tugged him towards the school gates. “The sooner we get you warmed up, the better.”

 

“I don’t have a hat with me, Yaku-san,” Lev yelped as Yaku dragged him along.

 

Yaku groaned in frustration before digging his own hat out of his bag and standing on his tiptoes to jam it onto Lev’s head. The red woollen beanie suited Lev well despite sitting lopsided on his head. A few strands of his hair poked out from underneath, and Yaku reached up to brush them out of Lev’s eyes. Lev blinked, and the strange, crushing feeling returned to Yaku’s chest. A longing.

 

“Come on. Let’s move,” Yaku said, turning away. The weather was worsening by the second, and if they didn’t hurry they would be caught in a proper blizzard.

 

The pair walked in silence for a while, cheeks stung red by the cold and teeth chattering. Every so often their arms would brush against each other, sending a spark of warmth through Yaku’s body.

 

Lev came to a stop at a junction, turning to face Yaku.

 

“You live that way, don’t you?” He tilted his head to one side.

 

“Yes, but I said I would walk you home, and that’s what I’m going to do.” Yaku hoped the cold would excuse the flush spreading across his skin.     

 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

 

“Well I do, so shut up,” Yaku grumbled, aiming a half-hearted kick at Lev’s leg. Lev beamed at him, and something in Yaku’s gut twisted. 

 

They set off again, and Yaku was sure he wasn’t imagining the extra swing in Lev’s gait, nor the increased moments of contact between them.

 

“Yaku-san.” There was something different in Lev’s voice, an edge of uncertainty. “I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

 

A prickle of anxiety trickled through Yaku’s body, but he quickly banished it; it was just Lev. He doubted it could be anything too serious – the worst it could be was a bit rude or personal, in which case he could just kick him.

 

“Shoot, Lev.”

 

“Uh, I was just wondering… about that thing you’re wearing.”

 

“What?” Yaku looked down. “It’s my coat.”

 

“No,” Lev blushed, “I mean under that.”

 

“My shirt?”

 

Lev shook his head again, and the penny dropped.

 

“Oh. You mean my binder?” Yaku tried to think – had Lev never seen his binder before?

 

Lev wrinkled his nose. “Bin-der?”

 

“That’s what it’s called.”

 

“Oh.” Lev quietened for a few moments, mouthing the word to himself.

 

“You… You have a question about it?” Yaku tried to ignore the spark of worry returning to his gut. He wasn’t anxious about Lev exactly, but the conversations that had gone this way before hadn’t always ended well. After the amount of explosions caused by the topic, trepidation had become an ingrained response.

 

“Uh, what is it, exactly? What is it for?”

 

“Um,” Yaku began. He stopped. He looked at Lev’s face, open, confused, questioning.

 

Another penny dropped.

 

Lev didn’t know Yaku was trans.

 

Shit.

 

Nah. That was stupid. How could he not know? Everyone knew. It came up in conversation. He didn’t doubt people talked about it behind his back, knowing all too well the school’s love of gossip. For God’s sake, had Lev never seen him take off his shirt before?!

 

Then again, Lev was always late, Yaku was always early, and Lev hadn’t started attending practice regularly until more recently. Maybe, somehow, he hadn’t heard.

 

“Lev.” Yaku swallowed. Great. Now he had to come out, which was never easy. “Lev, do you know I’m transgender?”

 

Lev looked at him. His eyes widened. Then… he laughed. “Yaku-san, you’re not a girl!”

 

“Correct,” Yaku deadpanned.

 

Lev’s laughter fell from his face. “I don’t get it.”

 

“I’m male. But I was assigned female at birth.”

 

“Wait… so you _are_ a girl?”

 

Yaku clenched his jaw, feeling his temper flare. “ _No._ I’m _not_. That’s kinda the _point_.”

 

“But… wait. So you wear a binder, because, you have, um…” Lev mined the shape on his chest.

 

“ _Yes_.” Yaku snapped.

 

“Well, then doesn’t that mean you’re a girl?”

 

Yaku kicked him. Hard.

 

“Ah!” Lev clutched his shin, hopping on one foot. “That actually _hurt,_ Yaku-san!”

 

“Good,” Yaku spat. He might have felt guilty, were it not for the way Lev’s words had set his skin crawling. Then again, expecting Lev not to be blunt, ignorant and idiotic would be expecting him to not be… well, Lev.

 

Eventually Lev’s complaints came to a stop, followed by a moment of silence.

 

“I’m sorry, Yaku-san,” Lev whispered.

 

“It’s,” Yaku swallowed, “It’s okay. Just don’t call me a girl. I’m not.”

 

“Yes, Yaku-san. Sorry, Yaku-san.”

 

Lev’s head still hung low, so Yaku nudged him, smiling.

 

“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

 

Lev gave him a small smile. “So… is it okay if I ask you more questions? About other things I don’t know? I’ll try not to upset you again, I promise.”

 

“If you want to.”

 

“You can kick me again if I get things wrong.”

 

Yaku laughed. “What, you’re giving me _permission_?”

 

“Well, if I _really_ didn’t want to be kicked I could just run away. You’d never catch me what with having such short legs – ow!”

 

“Don’t tell me you weren’t expecting that.” Yaku smirked.

 

Lev, laughed, brushing snow from the top of his head. The sight did yet more strange things to Yaku’s gut, and he had to quash the sudden urge to reach up and brush off Lev’s shoulders for him. Damn parental instincts.

 

“So, uh, how do you know you’re a boy?”

 

Yaku snorted. The question was just so cliché. “How do _you_ know you’re a boy?”

 

“I, uh,” Lev stammered, “oh.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“So you wear a binder, to, um…”

 

“I wear it because it makes me comfortable.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Lev’s eyes widened. “Doesn’t it hurt?!”

 

“Only if I do it wrong. I have to be careful.”

 

“Is it safe?!”

 

“Yes. Like I said, as long as I’m careful.”

 

“Oh. That’s good, then.” Lev paused for a moment to think. “So um, you’re a boy, yeah? But you also have…” Lev gestured towards his chest.

 

“Yes.” Yaku sighed, sensing where the conversation was going with dread.

 

“So you _don’t_ have a-”

 

Yaku kicked him again before he got the chance to point.

 

“Ow!”

 

“What I do and don’t have isn’t any of your business, Lev.” Yaku smiled, showing as many teeth as possible.

 

“Oh. Right. Okay. Sorry, Yaku-san.”

 

Yaku accepted the apology. The boy was learning.

 

“Can I keep going?”

 

“Yes.” Yaku took his hands from his pockets to rub them together for a few seconds, trying to chase the blood back into his fingers.

 

“Okay. Okay, so, you’re a boy, yeah? So if I – I mean, like, if a – another boy likes you… then that’s gay, right?”

 

Yaku couldn’t help but snort. As if. “It would be, yeah.”

 

“Even though-”

 

“It would be gay, Lev.”

 

“Okay.” The expression on Lev’s face was not one Yaku could identify.

 

Yaku waited, wondering. It seemed like the next logical thing to ask, didn’t it? So why had Lev fallen silent?

 

Yaku wasn’t going to complain. It could be the only question Lev asked that Yaku couldn’t answer.

 

_So are you gay, Yaku-san?_

 

The question didn’t come, but he could feel it, twisting in the air in the midst of the snow.  He didn’t know the answer, and every day the uncertainty tugged at him. He couldn’t untangle the mess of feelings to find the answer.

 

The question didn’t come. Instead, something else far less expected.

 

“I guess that means I’m gay then, Yaku-san.”

 

“What?” Yaku stopped walking, grabbing Lev’s shoulder to turn him towards him. Lev laughed, too high to be natural.

 

“I’m… _gay_ , then.” Lev’s cheeks were too red, his words breathy, as if he couldn’t get the air into his lungs.

 

“Because… B-Because…” Yaku stammered, his mouth dry.

 

“Because I like you,” Lev finished. He said the words as though stating the most basic facts of the universe; water was wet, the sky was blue, and Lev Haiba liked Yaku Morisuke.

 

“O-Oh.” Later Yaku would be overcome with the embarrassment of giving such a lame response. But for the moment, the only thing his brain seemed capable of doing was opening and closing his mouth over and over, goldfish-style. “Oh.” He repeated.

 

Lev bit his lip. “I’m sorry, Yaku-san.”

 

“You…” Yaku ransacked his brain, looking for something to say, _anything_. “…don’t need to apologise.”

 

“But I should!”

 

“Why?!”

 

“Because it’s creepy. And weird. And I let it distract me from volleyball today!”

 

“Wait – that was because of _me?!_ ”

 

Lev bit his lip and nodded.

 

“What – what about your stomach? The butterflies?”

 

Lev looked to the floor, his blush spreading to his neck. “Kenma-san said it was because I had a crush on you. And Kuroo-san said I should tell you.”

 

“I’ll bet he did,” Yaku muttered. Lev looked alarmed.

 

“Are you mad at me?”

 

“What?! No, of course I’m not, why would I be?”

 

“Because… Because you don’t like me back?”

 

Yaku looked up at Lev, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. All of a sudden he felt a few strings of emotion untangle and fall into place. Oh. _Oh._

 

“I… I never said that.” Yaku whispered. The feeling in his chest was back in force, the feeling it had taken Yaku far too long to figure out. It didn’t feel so much like a weight, anymore. Now it felt more like an explosion.

 

“Eh?!”

 

“I…” Yaku looked away. Oh Christ. He couldn’t say it. Not to this giant Russian idiot who kept looking at him as though he were the world. He couldn’t.

 

He could.

 

“Lev, I, um,” Yaku coughed, trying to dislodge the words from where they were stuck in his throat. “I like you too.”

 

Lev’s mouth dropped open. Then the widest grin Yaku had ever seen shone from his face.

 

He giggled. Yaku was about to tell him off for acting childishly, but before he got the chance Lev slid his arms around Yaku’s waist and lifted him into the air.

 

“Lev! Lev, put me down!” Yaku shrieked, kicking his legs which were met only with air.

 

Lev ignored his protests, only laughing louder. He spun on the spot, supporting Yaku’s weight in his arms. Yaku yelped, wrapping his arms around Lev’s neck to stop himself from falling.

 

“Lev, you idiot, put me down _right now_ before we-!”

 

Before Yaku could finish his warning, Lev’s feet slipped in the snow, sending the pair tumbling to the ground.

 

Yaku squinted up at Lev, making an effort to burn his irritation into the other. If Lev noticed, he didn’t react, too busy recovering from his giggling fit. His breath came in heavy pants, the warmth of which Yaku could feel brushing against his skin.

 

“Your hat fell off,” Yaku grumbled at last.

 

“It’s _your_ hat, Yaku-san.”

 

Yaku reached out and picked up the beanie from where it had landed in a snow drift before pulling it back over Lev’s head. “You can keep it. If you want.” His cheeks burned as red as the hat.

 

“Really?!” Such a simple offer should not have made Lev look as happy as it did. There was that twist in Yaku’s stomach – the butterflies, as Lev called it – followed by radiant warmth. It spread from the centre of his chest to the tips of his fingers and toes where it tingled and danced under his skin.

 

“Of course.” Yaku smiled. He reached up and patted away a few flakes of snow from the hat before taking a deep breath and letting his hand come to rest cupping Lev’s cheek. His skin felt hot enough against Yaku’s palm to burn.    

 

Lev’s eyes were blown wide, the ghost of his laughter still tugging at the corners of his mouth. He shifted position, swapping the hands he had been supporting himself with for elbows so he could cup Yaku’s face in return, body pressing warm and comfortingly against him.

 

Yaku’s other hand joined the first before he let them slide down to Lev’s neck, fingers lacing together at the back amongst soft locks of grey. He took a moment to marvel at the hot touch of skin against skin; an intimacy he had never imagined or expected to share with _Lev_ , of all people.

 

“We’re going to have to get up eventually, you know,” Yaku murmured, “We can’t just lie here all day.”

 

Lev made a noise that, while involving no actual words, was clearly one of disagreement.

 

“You’re a goddamn idiot. Now get off me so I can kick you,” Yaku nudged Lev with his knee. He achieved the exact opposite of the effect he had been going for when Lev shifted off his elbows and allowed the full force of his weight to fall on Yaku, pinning him to the ground.  

 

“Gaaah! Lev!” Yaku wriggled and writhed, but to no effect. He scowled up at Lev’s face, which was now no more than an inch from his own. “The back of my head is getting wet,” he complained, wrinkling his nose.

 

“You should have worn a hat, Yaku-san.”

 

Yaku’s mouth dropped open. The absolute _cheek_ -

 

Lev laughed again, so infuriating yet so beautiful. It tugged at emotions deep inside, making Yaku wish Lev would shut up but at the same time never stop, making Yaku want to hit him again, or maybe even-

 

He grabbed Lev by the collar of his coat. For a moment he took in the soft fabric between his fingers and the laughter cut off by surprise, before pulling Lev into him until their lips collided.

 

Yaku hadn’t thought it possible for them to be any closer; he was proven wrong when he felt Lev’s body pressing down against his once more. Lev’s lips slid against his, warm and wet. He felt Lev’s hands flitting across his skin – his shoulder, his neck, his jawline – the apparent nerves almost enough to make Yaku want to laugh. The feeling only intensified upon realising that Lev had _no idea what he was doing_.

 

When Lev’s teeth clicked against his for the third time, Yaku couldn’t hold back the bubble of laughter that burst from his gut. “Lev, that is _not_ how you kiss!”

 

Lev had the cheek to look insulted. “Yaku-san, I don’t see why _you’re_ the expert!”

 

“Oi!” Yaku smacked his arm, and at long last Lev shifted his weight off, allowing Yaku to climb to his feet. He held out his hand to Lev, hoisting him up.

 

“I am a great kisser! I’m an expert at it!” Lev boasted, sticking out his chest and carrying on walking as though they had never stopped.

 

“Oh yeah?” Yaku smirked.

 

“Well.” Lev deflated. “Maybe not. But I will be!”

 

“Will you, now?” Yaku raised an eyebrow.

 

“Yes. I just need to practice it a lot, like with receives. Will you help me?”

 

Yaku spluttered and coughed a few times before replying. “We’ll see,” he managed at last, trying to keep his voice level.

 

Lev smiled, catching Yaku’s hand in his. He ran his thumb across Yaku’s knuckles, sending a bolt of heat to his stomach. Yaku took a moment to curse Lev under his breath, wondering if he was smooth, stupid or both.

 

They held hands all the way to Lev’s house, except for brief interludes where Lev would break contact to wipe his hand on his coat and apologise for sweaty palms. Yaku could only laugh.

 

He was sadder than he expected to be when they reached Lev’s house. Lev turned to face him on the doorstep, catching his other hand.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Yaku-san?” The question in Lev’s voice brought another smile to Yaku’s lips.

 

“Of course, idiot. We have practice together, don’t we?”

 

“Well, yeah.” Lev swung their hands back and forth. “But maybe we could meet up and walk in together?”

 

“Yeah. That’d be good.”

 

Lev grinned, and Yaku nudged him with his foot. “Go on. Get moving, or you really will catch a cold.”

 

“Yes, Yaku-san!” He placed his hand on the doorknob, but came to a stop before he opened the door.

 

“Now what?!” Yaku folded his arms.

 

Lev hesitated, before swooping down and planting a kiss on Yaku’s forehead. “Goodbye, Yaku-san!” He dived through the door before Yaku could even respond, leaving only swirling snowflakes to witness Yaku’s smile.

 

When, a short walk later, Yaku fell through his front door and into the heat of his own house at last, he gave his sister an extra big hug. She squealed and giggled in his arms. “Cold! Cold!”

 

Yaku grinned at the irony. He had never felt warmer.   

 

The reactions to Lev and Yaku walking into the changing room holding hands the next day were: one raised eyebrow (Kenma), one insufferable smirk (Kuroo), one guffaw of laughter followed by a cry of “Called it!” (Yamamoto) and a high-five for Lev (Inuoka).

 

Today, instead of watching from the other side of the room, Lev changed beside him, and the usual prickly feeling on Yaku’s skin was… subdued.

 

He took his time, elbow occasionally knocking against Lev’s side as he tugged clothes on and off. Just before pulling his exercise tee on, he turned, happening to catch Lev’s eye.

 

“What?!” Yaku wrinkled his nose when he sensed Lev’s gaze sweeping across his skin.

 

“I don’t think I mentioned,” Lev said, a curious expression in place.

 

“Mentioned what?”

 

“You look cute!” He grinned and bolted, just missing being hit by the shoe Yaku flung after him. Kuroo’s laughter filled the room, blending with Yaku’s curses as he pulled on his shirt at last.

 

“That boy will be the death of me,” Yaku muttered.

 

“And you of him,” Kuroo replied, grinning.

 

Yaku scowled. “I hate you, Kuroo.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Kuroo winked.

 

 Yaku sighed. He had a wild ride ahead of him.               

 

  

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a trans character so if there are any readers, trans or otherwise, who have problems or criticisms with how I handled this please let me know so I won't repeat any mistakes. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I would promise follow-up stories but I no matter how many sequels I promise I never seem to get around to them. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought, or alternatively just scream at me about Levyaku because I'm falling hard. \\(^_^)/


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